I'm sitting in my parent's living room in Florida. Christmas has been celebrated. Bellies have been filled and being with one another is stealing the show. Life is pretty different here. It's nice. It's quiet. It's hot most of the time, but this week it's been rainy and cool.
We hit the zoo today. Lemurs went at it, screaming and fighting. It was humorous. We fed a giraffe, which elated me since they are my favorite animal and then hit the mall for some quick shopping. I love being with my family.
Every trip I go on whether vacation or to visit family, I take in the towns and consider what life would be like living there. Of course there are many places one can make a life if one is adjustable. Some places, though, bring one's soul to life. For me, there are only a couple of towns that I feel my soul breathing.
I have no plans nor desires to stay in Virginia, as beautiful as the state is. It's been a home for over twenty years, but it's not my home.
I enjoy Florida and maybe I could live here. I would certainly love living near my family, but I think if I make my home here, I'll just be doing the next thing, I'm not sure I'll fully feel alive and on that final path of becoming.
I'm also going to end it with the invisible man. It makes no sense. We rarely talk and still haven't been on a date since he asked me to be exclusive. I ready for the real thing. I'm ready for commitment. Honor. Love. Talking. Holding hands. Living the regular highs and lows together. Spending time together. Riding in the same car. Disagreeing on dinner and laughing. Cuddling on the couch. Going on walks together. Doing real conversation.
He's a nice man, but he's not for me. So here are the the days ahead as I continue taking in my next steps.
We toured University of Notth Florida today. We toured Vanderbilt and Lipscomb last April. There are more schools and more conversations with my daughter. As the days tick down the future closes in, my prayer is that my daughter finds the place she belongs and the people meant for her life and that I find mine.
I cannot wait to be living it.